Gintoki's love for women
by san2007x1
Summary: I was wondering one day... What if everyone thought Gintoki was gay? And what would he do to prove he was not? If your sensitive to bi or straight stuff, don't read. That's just a warning. I don't own Gintama
1. Chapter 1

Women giggled at Gintoki and Okita as they walked by.

"Don't bother, he's not interested in girls," Okita teased.

Gintoki poked his nose and flicked his booger before saying anything.

"Are you just here to torture me? What? Parfaits you say and your treating?"

"aa aa Danna. I have something important to give you." Sougo looked around and came up close to Gintoki. He carefuly slipped a piece of paper into his hand and walked away. "See you Danna."

"Oi, what about that parfait you promised?" Gintoki scratched his head before looking at the piece of paper in his hand. As he read it he froze. He then tucked the paper into his pocket and continued on his way.

"You finally came to pay me that rent," Otose said to him. Gintoki had just walked into Otose's Snack House.

"Didn't I already pay you the other day already, you old hag?"

"Come to think of it, you did," she said. "Might as well pay me in advance then."

Before he could argue, Kagura popped up near him with an evil face.

"Ha ha ha, I hear Gin-chan is gay aru!" she said in a loud tone. She was obviously teasing Gintoki, but he seemed not to care as much.

"Think what you want," he said calmly. "I just want some water."

"It can't beee~!" Saachan screamed as she fell from the ceiling. After a few seconds, she began to have second thoughts. "Come to think of it, he never seemed interested in the females."

"..and all the girls seem to like him," Catherine added. "That bastard doesn't even notice."

"I can hear you catwoman! And there's no girls!" Gin yelled but seemed to be ignored. So he sighed and went back to being as careless. "Wake up and smell the strawberry milk, I'm as straight as they come."

Everyone gazed at each with wonder if Gintoki is actually gay. Gintoki had a sweatdrop from all the stupidity.

"But thats where your wrong." Shinpachi moved his glasses, as tho he was a genious that solved a mystery. "Remember that episode where he was reading a porn magazine? And what about the episode where he stood on a bench peeping at a woman changing in her apartment?"

Everyone began mumbling. Gintoki ignored them.

"Why did Gin-chan have a picture of him an Hijikata in one episode?" Kagura asked with a laughing grin.

Right at that moment, Hijikata and Otae came in the room. Everyone was giving Hijikata a weird stare.

"What are you looking at?" he said.

"Hello everyone. ^^ I've brought some snacks," said Otae happily. "I want to know what you all think of my new recipe."

Everyone froze at the thought of eating her food. They weren't ready to die.

"T-they all have the same flavor, dont they?" Gin stuttered.

"... And I came to see what this white haired guy has to say about that note," said Hijikata, with a slight blush.

"A Note!" everyone said with surprise. They also noticed Hijikata's uneasiness.

"Oi it's not what you think!" Gintoki yelled suddenly defending his position from everyone. "Who cares about my sexual orientation anyways! Let's stop this nonsense!"

"I never knew you thought about me like that," HIjikata said, holding in his anger as best as possible. He put his hand near his sword, getting ready to strike him at any moment.

"Why is everyone ganging up on me?" Gintoki said as calm as he could. His eyebrow twitching with annoyance. His next immediate reaction was to drag the others down with him. "Shinpachi was never interested in girls-!"

"Actually, there have been episodes," Shinpachi defended. "Even got my wallet stolen once and... I will always devote my life to Otsuu!"

"T-then, Kagura-chan. She has never..-"

"I once excercised everyday to someday see a friend of mine," Kagura blushed.

"Sa-chan?"

"Your my one and only loooove~!" She tries to grab onto Gin but got stopped by his foot.

"Catherine?"

"Got cheated."

"Otose!" Gintoki asked lastly with the feeling of defeat.

"You were there Bakka," Otose said. She huffed on her pipe. "Why don't we settle this like adults?" 


	2. Chapter 2

Hijikata and Sa-chan sat side by side with Otose standig in back of them.

"Pick one," said Otose.

"All I just wanted was a response!" Hijikata exclaimed with evil white eyes. "Tch. Gintoki. To think you were like this. I'll never see you the same way again."

Saachan, on the other hand, began to day dream about her fantasy Sado/  
mascho love with Gintoki.

"I'm not playing your games," Gintoki said calmly. He turned around and began drinkin water. To his surprise, black fried eggs appeared in front of him. His right eye began to twitch with the fear of death.

"Why is everyone ignoring me?" Otae asked but was still ignored due to the fact that no one wanted to eat her eggs.

[After much analysis, I conclude that Gintoki is...] Tama began but paused. She had appeared out of no where.

"Gintoki is what?" everyone said with curiousity.

[Calculating data . . .] Tama paused and began counting down. Everyone got closer and closer. Tenseness was built up.

[Gintoki is...] Tama began again. Everyone gulped. Even Gintoki was curious to hear what Tama had to say. [...Asexual.]

"-I'm definately not!" Gintoki immediately yelled. Gintoki began to unzip his pants. "Do you need proof? I got proof!"

Otae smashed fried eggs into his mouth. That prevented him from revealing anything too obscene.

"I'm leaving," Hijikata said with annoyance. "Tell me your answer later."

"Wait!" Shinpachi said, but Hijikata didn't listen and left anyways. "Now we'll never know."

Gintoki pushed Otae close to him and bent her in a romantic fashion. He confidently stared into Otae's eyes. Her heart began to pound and seemed to have double the beats.

"OI!" Shinpachi yelled. "I don't approve! I definately DONT approve!"

"Calm down," Catherine said. "It's not like he's gonna do anything-"

To everyone's surprise, Gintoki laid his lips onto hers.

"I'm going to kill you!" Shinpachi screamed angrily. He so badly wanted to strangle him but Kagura kept him held back.

"Oo hoo hoo!" Kagura smiled, laughed and teased. " Gin and Tae, sitting in a tree-!"

"T-thats proof e-enough ok? So you can drop the gay nonsense now." Gintoki said with stutter. He awaited to be pummeled by Otae but nothing happened.

"Gintoki you idiot!" Otae yelled and ran out. It was a surprise that she wasn't as violent as she usually was.

Everyone else was practically speechless. Gin, on the other hand, seemed bothered. Without much thought, he grabbed Otae's eggs and sped out. Mainly cause he didn't wan any conflict, especially from Shinpachi.

Gintoki talked to himslef nervously as he walked around town.

"I thought it'd be no big deal, but it was harder than I thought itd be. It felt like my heart was doing double..."

He clenched both hands on his head and dropped down nervously. "What is wrong with me! ... Oh wait, maybe it wasn't just my heartbeat that was beating, but hers too... BUt what is wrong with meeee~! "

"Gintoki." A voice said. It had surprised Gintoki.

"Zura, don't sneak up on me like that. What are you, some kind of ninja?"

"It not 'some kind of ninja,' it's Katsura." Katsura stared at him and Gintoki stared back. He stared some more, then Gin stared more back at him. Then he began to leave.

"Zura... Did you have something to say?" Gintoki said calmly. Katsura stopped in his tracks.

"Its not Zura, its Katsura. And yes. I wanted to hear your answer about the note but you seem puzzled so I'll let you be," he answered. He pulled out a pepto bottle out of his pocket and threw it at Gintoki. "By the way, I just happened to have an extra of this bottle and coincidently brought it with me. I have a feeling your gonna need it."

Katsura walked off. Gin looked at the bottle before continuing on his way.

"What was I so worried about anyways..."


	3. Chapter 3

Gintoki set foot in the Shimura dojo. No one seemed to be home but the door was opened.

"Otaeeee! I brought your dark matter!" Gin called out. "and you left your door open! That's dangerous ya know?"

After searching, he finally found Otae sitting alone, looking outside.

"Hey I was calling you," he said but got no response. Otae didn't even look back at him. "Hey are you listening to me?"

Otae looked up at the sky. She wasn't mad at him all. She just wanted him to leave so she can be alone for awhile. Just him being there made her feel awkward. She felt sad.

A good length of time had passed. So much, that she thought Gin had left long ago. To her surprise, he sat next to her and began eating some of her fried eggs. Another good silence passed by before he spoke.

"I'm sorry," he said out of the blue. "That I used you I mean. I don't feel anything for you so don't worry too much about it. It was an act."

Otae stood silent. Her mixed feelings confused her. She knew she was suppose to be happy, but why was she still so sad? Gintoki smiled at her when she looked at him, then he looked up into the sky. After another moment, he stood up as if he was gonna leave.

"Well it doesn't matter to me if you hate me or not, but if you want to punish me, you can do so by not making me anymore of your delicious fried eggs I love so much. That would teach me."

Gintoki grabbed the bottle of Pepto out of his pocket and took a big drink. He then put it away.

"Gintoki..." Otae finally spoke. "I never knew..."

Otae face toward Gintoki. They stared into each others eyes.

"...that..." Otae continued. "...you were really gay."

Gintoki fell because of the stupidness.

"I'm NOT gay! I even proved it!"

"You said it was act. Don't worry though, your secret's safe with me."

"uugh your making it hard for me, you know?" Gintoki became calm and scratched his head in thought and frustration. "Would you rather me saying I have feelings for you? Would that make me straight?"

Otae didn't say anything but didn't buy anything Gintoki had just said. She was smiling. Gintoki walked close to Otae and sat back down. Gin grabbed her hand and put it on his chest.

"Hear that?"

Otae still didn't say anything. Was she suppose to hear something? Noticing Otae's confused look, he pulls her up and hugs her, with her head on his chest.

"Do you hear it know?" he said softly.

She could hear it. It was his heartbeat and it was beating pretty fast.

"That's my heartbeat," Gin explained. "It's because I'm near a beautiful woman that my heart is going crazy."

Gintoki let go and began to leave. Otae stood there, stunned. Her heart was beating fast too.

"He is such an idiot," she told herself. She smiled at him as he left.


	4. Chapter 4

'She's such an uncute woman...' Gintoki told himself as he walked home. He was having unusual difficulty easing his racing heart. 'I thought I was going to die today so then, why am I so happy?'

Gintoki took a big sigh and stopped to lean on a nearby building. He didn't want to go home and face the other Shimura(Shinpachi) just yet.

"Gintoki," a mysterious voice was heard. "You know what your getting yourself into right?"

"Yeah," Gintoki said in response. His resolution was to pretend that what happened between Otae and him NEVER happened.

"Are you sure about that?" the mysterious voice said back. "It might do more harm than good."

Gintoki scratched his head in annoyance.

"Yes, I'm sure-" he said but then immediately stopped. Come to think of it, the door was open at the Shimura dojo when he arrived last chapter. Gintoki went into denial. Otae wouldn't be so careless, would she? Just for a moment, his heart had skipped a beat. He headed back to the dojo.

"Oi wait! I haven't received a clear answer from you yet about the note, you bastard!" said Hijikata. Apparently, he was the mysterious voice, but Gintoki was too much in thought to notice that it was a real person talking to him.

It didn't take long to arrive at the dojo once again. The dojo was perfectly intact and the doors were closed like it should be.

"Heh heh heh, I overreacted," Gintoki sighed, putting his hand on his head. He was embarrassed at himself, but in a way, it was a bit of a relief.

"Gintoki..." said a voice from behind him. He could feel something sharp behind his neck. "We got your woman..."

Gintoki was in a predicament but he still gave off a dead fish eye look and poked his nose. It was surprising, even to himself, that he had let his guard down even for a moment. But even though, he didn't feel the need to turn around.

"Oh really?" he said as he flicked off a booger. His eyes were still like a dead fish. He didn't show an ounce of care. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you... to..." the voice from behind began to say. With each passing word, Gintoki's eyes became more soulless and his hand came closer and closer to his Lake Toya Bokuto. The moment was cancelled out by a Otae's voice coming from the dojo.

"Gintoki," Otae said softly. She didn't know what was happening. By the looks of it, she seemed completely safe. Gintoki, in turn, had a huge sweatdrop. His hand moved away from his bokuto.

"Oi, kidnapper," Gintoki asked with confusion. "What woman were you talking about?"

"Pony-san," The kidnapper said. He then took a quick peek at his notebook and realized something. "Oops. I am very sorry. Wrong person."

The kidnapper left, leaving Otae and Gintoki with stupid faces and huge sweatdrops.

"Shouldn't we report this?" Otae said in a monotoned voice. "and didn't he notice that you were gay?"

"-OOOI! Quit going on about that would you?" Gintoki responded as quick as a bullet.

Tae, on the other hand, was only teasing him and Gintoki had just realized that. He noticed that Tae's laughter seemed so sweet and innocent but, why hadn't he noticed that before?

"What's wrong?" Otae said worriedly. Gintoki was smiling at her.

"Nothing," Gintoki responded. He jerked and looked away. "Laughter is contagious, you know."

"Is that so?" Tae said. Then she got a brilliant idea. She began to laugh louder but it ended up coming out fake and silly. "HA HA HA HA~"

"Oi oi, your really overdoing it now !" Gintoki said. He was struggling to keep a straight face. "Quiet down! The people in the neighorhood would think you are crazy."

Otae didn't stop so Gintoki gave up. I mean, if you can't beat'em, join them right? Gintoki made fake laughter of his own in order to out match Tae's voice.

"HA HA HA HA HA~!"

"HAAA HA HA HA!"

"BWAH HA HA. "

"MWA HA HA HA HAAA~!"

Pretty soon, the neighborhood began to get disturbed. More and more dogs began barking at the hideous noise.

It didn't take long for that fake laughter to become real laughter.

* * *

_Ok stupid as this may sound, I just realized that I didn't cover what is on that darn note. Oh well, I'll finish till I have gotten that resolved. Consider this a canon filler lol__ It's been almost a year so my humor may be a bit rusty. __Gomen~ _

_A special thanks to you two reviewers!_

_and as a side story: They caught Pony-san safe and sound. :D  
_


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you going to marry Anego now aru?" Kagura asked as Gintoki opened his eyes from sleep. She was above his head(like the tama episode)

"Oi Kagura. Stop staring at people when they are asleep. It gets creepy," Gintoki said as he sat up. He didn't catch what Kagura had asked, nor did he remember coming home at all last night. After finally coming to his senses, he realized something. "Oh so it was just all just dream."

"Whats are you talking about?" Kagura asked. She didn't really care for an answer.

"A nevermind," Gintoki said. He was disappointed for some reason. He got up and got dressed, then sat on the couch, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. Why was he so tired? Kagura sat down across from him and stared at him. When Gin looked at her, she looked away. Gin was suspicious. Then he looked at her again, but this time she began to blush.

"-What is it?" Gintoki yelled in annoyance. "Do you want money? I'll give you 300yen!"

"No," Kagura said. Gin's yelling didn't phase her. "Anego is visiting."

Gintoki stared at Kagura but then she stared back.

"So?" he said and lied on the couch, using his arms as a pillow. When he rubbed his face with his hands, a note fell out. "Hm?"

When he read it, he froze. It was like time had stopped, including his heart.

"Gin-chan?" Kagura asked, trying to get Gintoki's attention but it seemed as though he wasn't on Earth anymore. His reaction had gotten her curious so she grabbed the note and read it:

_"_  
_Dear Gintoki,_  
_Please join me in blowing up the Shinsengumi headquarters with "mayonaisse."_

_Would you help me? Circle: Yes/No_

_Pass this note on to bazooka boy, silver haired lazy samurai, hijibastard, then back to me(Katsura)._

_"_

"Oi Gin-chan. This note is nothing special. Snap out of it," Kagura said in a monotoned voice and dead eyes. Gintoki barely flinched so Kagura slammed his head on the table. "OI!"

"Checheche!" Gintoki complained. He had now had a headache. "OI WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"You were acting weird aru," Kagura defended in a monotoned voice. "What's wrong? Did you forget your underwear last night aru?"

"Eeeh?" Gintoki said confused.

'Why 'last night'?' Gintoki asked himself. Kagura noticed Gintoki's sudden silence. She thought he froze again so she was about to smash his head on the table... again.

"Kagura-chan Kagura-chan," Gintoki asked unsurely, with his left eye twitching. "W-what did I do yesterday?"

There was a sudden silence. Kagura intentionally didn't answer and because of this, Gin grabbed Kagura's head.

"Oi, answer when I ask you something," he said with annoyance but even with him grabbing her head, Kagura didn't seemed to care. At this point, Gintoki gave up. There was no point in asking her anything.

'Maybe it'd be best if I didn't see Tae in awhile,' he thought to himself. 'Yesterday was a weird day. I don't think I can face her for awhile. Just until all this has been forgotten-'

"-Good morning everyone!" Otae said as she arrived, cutting off Gintoki's thoughts. She immediately froze as soon as she saw Gintoki. Gintoki, with his finger in his nose, froze when he saw her too. There were no blushes. Gintoki's face was as dead as usual. Tae thought she would be able to face Gintoki without any weirdness but she was wrong it seems.

"Gin and Tae sitting in a tree~!" Kagura began to sing. "K. I. S. S. I. N. G!"

As soon as Kagura mentioned the 'kissing' part, Gintoki and Otae quickly faced away from each other and began to blush.

"Heh heh heh what is thaat?" Kagura teased at Gintoki. "Are you blushing aru?"

"No no no!" Gintoki argued, with his face red. "It's just embarrassing, oi!"

When Gintoki kissed Otae, he had thought she was going to hit him. When she would have hit him, he would have used that violent act as a reason for not being interested in women at the moment. How did the situation get all twisted and end up like this?

"Heh heh heh so you were just using Anego to prove your not gay because your embarrassed of being gay aru," Kagura asked with an evil smile. She was ready to happily beat Gintoki up. It looked like her motive was to have a reason to beat Gintoki up.

"Oh my," Otae said with surprise, finally saying something. "She figured it out."

"-Oiiii stop it already!" Gintoki yelled back. Tae was only joking but Gintoki didn't care. He sat down and took a deep breath. He knew he was overreacting and needed to calm down. Kagura, in turn, sat down and chewed on some sukonbu while Tae never moved from her spot(standing up). There was a few minutes of awkward silence and it was annoying Gintoki so he got up and left, casually passing Tae.

"Kagura-chan," Tae began, after Gintoki left. "Why have you been teasing Gin-san and I?"

"Gin-san needs a husband to tie him down," Kagura replied with confidence. She didn't want to admit that teasing them was fun and that she wanted to annoy Shinpachi and beat Gintoki up for throwing her Sukonbu away. "Anego?..."

"Yes Kagura-chan?" Otae asked with a smile.

"If you and Gin-chan have a baby, can I name him?" she asked. Otae froze up.

"E-eeeeh?" o_o

'Tae froze like Gin-chan did aru,' Kagura thought in annoyance. She froze too for fun, but then got bored. 'Maybe we should go get the old hag's(Otose) advice.'

-  
_Be prepared to see the significance of the note! _


	6. Chapter 6

'what is wrong with these people? It was because thinking of Tae in 'that' way was put in my head, that I'm in this dilemma right now,' Gintoki thought to himself. He headed into Otose's snack house. Maybe that old hag would have some advice for him.

"What is it?" Otose asked Gintoki as he came in.

'Then again, I'll just ignore this gay nonsense till it goes away,' Gintoki thought.

"It's nothing," he said as he sat down.

"Something seems to be troubling you," Otose said. "Its not like you to 'think.'"

"Oi watch it you old hag!" Gintoki said defensely, but didn't seem threatening much.

"Don't worry about it," Otose said, ignoring Gintoki's comment. "Let things grow on their own. If something happens, then it'll happen naturally. "

After a moment of silence, Gintoki responded:  
"Shinpachi will kill me."

"Shinpachi?" Otose was surprised. "Wasn't this about chome chome stuff with Hijikata?"

"-OI cut this out already!" Gintoki said in surprise and anger as he got out of his chair. " I was talking about Tae! It's Otae!"

"Oh, so you've fallen in love with Tae?" Otose asked. She looked calm but in her head she was saying 'OMG WTF.'

"Tch," Gintoki said in annoyance. He sat back in his chair and scratched his head. "As if I'd fall for a flat-chest woman like her. I don't even like her."

"-Gin-chan," Kagura softly interrupted. Gintoki paused. He nervously looked toward her. He hoped Tae wasn't with her, but unfortunately, she was. Tae had heard the whole thing. Gintoki was filled with immense guilt and embarrassment.

"Idiot," Otose said to Gintoki.

"O..Tae," he began with a sweatdrop and a sense of impending death. Gintoki honestly wasn't really thinking clearly. He just wanted everybody to stop bugging him.

"What are you so worked up about?" Tae asked with her usual smile. It was hard to tell whether she was sad, or not. Kagura, on the other hand, seemed to be sad for her.

"It's OK," Tae continued with a smile then began to giggle. "In fact, I was thinking the same thing."

Gintoki studied Tae's facial expression and giggle. Tae seemed to really not care and her giggle was seemingly authentic. To Gintoki, it felt like a clash of thunder had hit him and killed him inside.

"Aa is that so?" Gintoki said with his usually dead look and turned around. "That's a relief."

Tae looked at Gintoki and smiled at him. Gintoki looked at her and seen her smile, then casually looked away. He didn't smile back. He couldn't for some reason.

"Oi," Kagura said. As soon as Gintoki looked at her, Kagura slammed his face on the counter.

"Oi don't break my counter!" Otose yelled. "You pay what you break!"

"Checheche THE COUNTER!" Gintoki yelled. "What if my face was broken you old hag! And what was that for Kagura!"

"You hurt my feelings," Kagura said in a monotoned voice. "I wanted a brother aru."

Tae's heart skipped a beat. She had hoped no one understood that. Luckily, no one did.

"A brother? What do you mean?" Gintoki asked, but he didn't care for an answer. "You got Shinpachi and his sister."

"You mean Anego?" Kagura asked.

"Yes yes. They are your brother's and sister's right there."

Kagura wanted to slam Gintoki's head again but Gintoki noticed so he moved away and eventually began running.

"I'M SERIOUS!" Kagura yelled as she chased him out.

"I don't know what your talking about!" Gintoki's far off voice was heard.

"Tae-san," Otose began. "Are you all right?"

Tae hadn't notice that her face was looking sad. She immediately put on a smiled face.

"I'm... OK," Tae responded. She understood why Gintoki had said he didn't like her. He would never like someone like her anyways. The only right thing to do, she thought, was to reassure his thoughts by agreeing and trying to feel the same way.  
Even though she tried, it had hurt her when Gintoki ignored her and called her 'Shinpachi's sister' instead of using her name or even looking at her. She didn't understand.

'It was because thinking of Gintoki in 'that' way was put into my head, that I am having such a problem right now,' she thought and then quietly left.

Otose seemed to know what was wrong. She gave off the look of empathy as she left.

"Gintoki, you truly are an idiot," she told herself. She puffed on her cigarette. "It seems as though I need to push them a little.."

* * *

Shinpachi: Hey now, just WHERE am I?

Elizabeth: *pulls out sign* Your looking for *turns sign around* your sister.

Shinpachi: Aaa yes.

Katsura: She's probably with Gintoki again.

Shinpachi: A Katsura-san, why would she be with him?

Katsura: Chome chome

Shinpachi: *twitch twitch*... *runs to the Yorozuya*

* * *

_I'm on a role._  
_What do YOU want to happen? that was a quick review btw. o_o and yes that DID help! thank u! ^^ i had been focusing more on that darn note and gintoki getting killed by shinpanchi and loving hijikata that i strayed. XD time to get back on topic! *puys on head band* yosh!_


	7. Chapter 7

_No more gintoki tae for me =_0_

* * *

Gintoki lied his head lazily on the counter of the Otose snack place. Shinpachi kept apologizing to him about his orientation, mainly to keep his sister out of it.

"Uggh I don't care anymore," he said out loud. And he really didn't.

"Gintoki," Katsura said as he suddenly appeared. "About the note, what do you say?"

"What do you mean, Zura?" Gintoki sa-("zura ja nai katsura da")id.

"What? Is it a date?" Catherine asked. She was eavesdropping.

"A date?" Katsura said. He was confused but still kept a serious face. Gintoki didn't say anything to deny it. He just ignored the comments. "Gintoki... I never knew you thought of me that way..."

'Here it goes again,' Gintoki thought. He wasn't surprised. 'Oh well, this idiot won't do anything about it.'

"No wait," Katsura continued. "That explains a lot."

"-WHAT!" Gintoki asked in surprised. He couldn't help but blurt it out. Just then, Katsura began to blush. Gintoki kicked him as soon as he noticed the blush. "DUMBASS!"

"Enough everyone," Shinpachi defended. "We've been picking on Gin-san for too long."

"Thank you Shinpachi," Gintoki said. He was relieved to have someone defending him for once but as soon as he tried to put his hand on Shinpachi's shoulders, Shinpachi moved back.

"Sorry Gin-san," Shinpachi said and then began to blush. "I'm not.. uh... that kind of guy."

"Why you..." Gintoki said in annoyance.

"The only time Gintoki accepted my offer to go check girls out is when he had amnesia," Katsura explained. "and he looked at me weird when we were working at the tranny bar-"

"Yea, that's because you were dressed as a girl," Gintoki said with a sweatdrop. "Of course I would look at you weird, you idiot!"

"TRANNY BAR!" everyone, except Otose, were surprise. They completely ignored Gintoki.

'Oh well,' Gintoki said with a sweatdrop. He gone back to what he was doing earlier, which was nothing really.

"So Gintoki," Katsura said, once again grabbing his attention. "About our date..."

"No," Gintoki said casually with a hint of annoyance. He wanted to kill Zura(zurajanaikatsurada) so bad right now.

"I'll dress up as Zurako-"

"NO I SAID!" Gintoki finally yelled. "And no to the note also!"

Gintoki went back to what he was doing or.. 'not' doing. Everyone stood silent for a moment.

"Yea," Otose said to Katsura. "Gintoki can't cheat on that cop, Hijikata."

Gintoki didn't say anything. He just wanted the topic to pass.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?" Hijikata said from the doorway. He had walked in. Gintoki froze.

'WHAT BAD TIMING FOR HIM TO COINCIDENTALLY COME IN AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT OTOSE SAID I WAS CHEATING ON HIM!' Gintoki thought in surprise. He had hoped the subject would be dropped asap and sure enough, it did.

"OI YOU!" Hijikata said to Katsura. He stared at him with a serious look. "You must be..."

Katsura raised the pitch of his voice.

"I am Mickey Mouse!" he said casually, without fear.

"Tch, you think you can fool me," Hijikata said in a stern voice. Then he pointed at Elizabeth. "Then what is THAT thing?"

Elizabeth put up a sign that said:  
"I am Donald Duck."

Hijikata stood silent. He slowly began to lower his right hand toward his sword, but grabbed his notepad instead.

"C-can I have your autograph?" Hijikata said with a blush. Everyone dropped down from the stupidity.

"NO ABOUT THE NOTE!" Gintoki blurted out, going off topic a bit. He just wanted everyone to leave.

[Gintoki tell me truthfully,] Tama began. [Are you gay?]

"I'm going to say this one more time," Gintoki said but then Tama stopped him.

[-One moment please.] Tama interrupted. [Activating lie detector test.]

"DON'T YOU TRUST ME?" Gintoki exclaimed, but then quickly calmed down. "I am not gay."

[Confirming information] Tama said. Then there was a moments pause.

'This is hopeless,' Gintoki sighed. 'This is a comedy, so of course it's going to be opposite of the truth-'

[Accurate.] Tama finished.

"-OI!" Gintoki yelled in defense but then stopped in confusion. " Eh? What? It was accurate?"

"You seem surprised," Catherine noted.

"No..." Gintoki said nervously.

'Was that all?' he thought and then laughed at himself.

[BUT my opinion thinks otherwise] Tama continued. Gintoki immediately fell to the floor.

'You.. bastards,' Gintoki thought. Then he remembered something. He immediately made an evil winning grin.

"I have a fiance," Gintoki said with confidence. Just then, Sa-chan fell through the roof.

"Really? WHO!" she yelled. Her head was bleeding from the fall but it was ignored.

"Ketsuno An-" Gintoki began but was cut off.

"-She's already married," Shinpachi shot him down quickly. Gintoki didn't give up though, he was still confident. He looked at Sa-chan. He remembered proposing to her once, but the thought of it made him cringe so he looked back at Shinpachi.

"Tae," Gintoki said, holding his chin with an smile. {me: i had lied. i was going to go full yaoi with hijikata but eh, I'm gonna end with this} Just then, Kondo fell from the roof.

"REALLY?" he yelled, with his head bleeding also.

"Yes yes," Gintoki said evilly. "It's true. Remember episode 8? or was it 7? It was around there that we first met. Tae was the one that proposed."

Sa-chan stood quiet. She was already making plans on assassinating Tae. If she were to eliminate her, then there would be no competition.

"That was just a rouse," Kondo said with a serious face. "You can't fool me."

"You really think so?" Gintoki rubbed it in. "I bet in the future, Sorachi will look into this subject more and make an arc about it."

"Oi, quit breaking the fourth wall," Hijikata said casually. He was smoking a cigarette.

"Just to let the audience know, I'm going to neuter Gin-san before anything happens," Shinpachi told us.

Gintoki walked out. He wanted what he said to sink in for awhile. Little did he know, Otae had been standing at the doorway with her fried eggs. She was overhearing but didn't want to interrupt. When Gintoki and Tae both noticed each other, they didn't say anything. Gin walked up to her, took one of her fried eggs and began to eat it.

"Heh," Gintoki was smiling confidently still. "Like hell I'd marry you."

"Yes. Even if you were the last man on Earth," Tae finished with a smile.

It was a good thing Gintoki decided to coincidentally bring the bottle of pepto Katsura had given him a couple of chapters ago. He began to drink it as he walked away.

'I'm going to buy some playboy,' Gintoki thought to himself. Of course, he just ended up buying JUMP later.

-THE END-

* * *

_I was going to make the note part of a bigger plot, but then i got lazy. If I'm going to make anything more of this in like a year or so, then its going to be gintae focused cause i lost my plot XD_


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